Akhir kitney aur Hashtag hon gay?

by Tirzah Shams – Age 15 years


An ode to those all those women
For whom, every day is a battle
When it comes to strength and dignity
You are a prime example

Don’t let the words of these people
Tear your beautiful sprit apart
Keep fighting, my love, it will get better
Time will heal your bleeding heart

Noor. Qurat-ul-Ain. Andaleeb. Saima. Wishah. Silsila. Just a few of the many names that represent how society treats women. Countless others made their appearances on my Instagram feed in the past few days and even more are there that I am yet to see. Names of women. They appeared with the phrase “justice for”, one that I’m more accustomed to seeing now than I’d like to admit. So many names, so many hashtags. In this month alone, at least one new hashtag was found every day. Sometimes twice appearing on the same.

So what are they about? These tags are prominently appearing in cases of violent acts being committed against women. The sheer amount of names, the lists that now appear on a simple search of the words “justice for”, are heartbreaking. If I were in a less harsh world, I’d hope that these hashtags would capture the full extent of violence against women. That it would end with the number of tags appearing, which in itself is a lot. But the reality of the situation is that, this spike in trending hashtags (relating to violence against women) captures just the tip of the iceberg. These only show a small proportion of reported cases (only those that have gone viral). It’s hard to even imagine the true magnitude of the number of such acts. To take into consideration the many more reported injustices and the crimes left unreported.

My heart bleeds for these victims. Them and all those unknown names that have faced terrible agony and still are. My sisters who have suffered at the hands of oppressors. Our patriarchal society arms these monsters, there is no denying. It’s in looking no further than what happened to Noor Mukadam. This young woman was killed brutally by her childhood friend. Yet, rather than punishing her murderer, fingers were raised on her character. ‘Why did she agree to meet with him alone?’ And when the same accusing tone was used against Zahir Jaffar, his actions were excused by our society under claims of mental illness. The mentality of our people and society as a whole would rather excuse a man who beheaded someone than a girl who was killed for she already knew her killer.

In the last few days, I’ve experienced a sort of mental exhaustion that I’m sure many of my fellow age mates and fellow women would relate to. We are scared. We are tired of existing in a world where our existence has been made a privilege to us. Where reading news concerning rape, harassment, killings and much more, have become a sort of a daily routine. Most of us already grow up feeling untrusting towards the men around us. And these events that have occurred at a horrifyingly continuous rate have definitely made it worse. We are angry, bottling up so many emotions.

As a teenage girl, I should not be writing about a femicide. I, my friends and all my fellow females are far too young to be carrying such heavy burdens. I guess it isn’t unlike our society though. We were already made to mature quicker when told at young ages about the dirty looks men have, even for our young bodies. We were made to grow up faster as we found ourselves deleting message requests from overage men while we are still minors. We are forced to grow up in many ways that our male counterparts didn’t and were told that it’s just “the norm”. And it’s disturbing how, even when aware of these situations, the reaction of the men around us has been simply unhelpful.

As I was writing this essay, I found myself on Twitter. Ready to find more information about the many tags I had seen. Instead, what trended were these words:


These words are those most commonly used when women speak out about how they have been treated by men. A hoax of innocence that men tend to mix with their “nice guy” personas. And I get it. Not all men are bad men. I understand as much. I know that my father isn’t a bad man. I know he loves me infinitely and is respectful to all the women around him. Similarly, my brother isn’t a bad man. I see him get frustrated as he reads posts about all which has happened over the past month. I see him worry for my safety. I see him try to understand what women go through and I see him trying to unlearn any internalised misogyny. So yes, I know that not all men are bad.

But understanding is needed over this simple fact; enough men are bad that women have to assume all of them are. Being vary of all men is a simple safety measure that we have to adopt. Similar to how not all mosquitoes carry malaria but its unpredictable which ones do, so we protect ourselves against all of them. I know that my father and brother aren’t bad men but a random girl on a sidewalk would not know so. It’s in her best interest to avoid them, just in case they are. And this doesn’t just apply to strangers. Women in our society are killed for rejecting proposals, asking for their right in inheritance, acting in any way that their male family members deem inappropriate, etc. Sources of harassment end up being family members and friends too. Thus women are left existing at the mercy of men. We become one misstep away from disaster. And in all of this, being vary of men or speaking low of most of them only leads to men claiming innocence rather than trying to support and help their female associates. Instead of helping educate their “bros” and calling their associates out on inappropriate behaviours, instead men succumb to talking about how feminists just hate all men.

It’s a hard time to be a woman in our world. Take these events, these difficult situations, as eye openers. Crimes against women are escalating and as more and more examples come to light, I appeal to anyone reading this to raise their voices. Please, raise your voices against the injustices that occur. Raise your voices so that the people in power can no longer play dumb. Raise them till each and every woman gets the justice they deserve. Raise your voices until the world that you live in is safe for you, your sister, mother and all acquaintances, alike. And in times when you feel your voice falter, ask yourself:

“Akhir Kitney Aur Hashtag Hon Gay?”

For all the mothers of this family

by Tirzah Shams

I am lonely in the dark
Your the one who lights my sky
I am on a drowning ark
Your the one who’d rather die
I have never seen a love
That has shone so bright
On the darkest of days
You become the only true light

No one can replace you
Your love no one possess
My heart has a lock on it
And only your granted access

God made you from true love
He made you to protect me
It’s you who will be there
When the whole world rejects me

You taught me that life
Is made of salt and sugar alike
And that not everything is perfect
But that is alright

You taught me to make mistakes
And learn from them what is wrong
You told me my differences
Are the reasons I belong
You showed me the path
That lead me to successful living
When I couldn’t change now
You gave me a chance to new beginning
Thank you mom for all your love
For I am nothing without you
Happy Mothers day
The world is empty without you

Struggle of women – Women’s Day

They were prepared to lay their lives
To leave a better future for me
But you told the world that this was just a hoax
You made them no longer free

They kept on fighting until you took away
Their arms and legs that fought
That’s when they really started to speak
Something you easily forget

So you trapped them in a cage of their own words
And erased what was left of their fight
You thought you subdued the spark that they had
The one you just helped ignite

You might have thought you took away
Each weapon that they owned
And for this reason the war had stopped
But No! No, no. It was simply postponed

This war begun with Adam and Eve
And won’t stop, till the end of time
Today is for every woman who fought
Against this deadly crime


by Tirzah Shams

The young generation that you took away
Who had the power to save the day

The youth of ours that you have stopped
The doors of happiness that you have blocked

Mothers you left with nothing but tears
Siblings you left with nothing but fears

Blood you sprayed of our generation
Futures stopped to destroy our nation

You came in this country to destroy our men
To take the light that could have been

But every time you hammer us to break
We’ll rise up again for our country’s sake

Emotional Breakdown

by Tirzah Shams

And finally I burst open
All emotions bubbled out
All anger, worry and sadness
With loud and angry shouts

No I was no longer quite
As I took out a that was within
As now was the point
When I couldn’t keep it in

And this was the moment
And I had lost all control
All the thoughts buried in my heart
Now seeped out through a hole

First it was just thoughts
Then they turned into tears
As I slowly let them spill
With no worries and fears

Minutes turned into hours
As time didn’t stop
Till all the negativity was gone
And I felt strong like a rock

But then I just collapsed
Now I was finally drained
I slipped into slumber
As my heart no longer pained


by Tirzah Shams

You are my moonlight in the dark
When I’m drowning, you’re my ark

In every war, you’re my guiding hand
You’re my safety in an unknown land

You have a beauty that surprises all
In the hardest times, you stand tall

You’re hearts of gold, with no doubt
There is nothing I can’t tell you about

There’s not place, in your heart for haters
You don’t fear lovers or traitors

And every moment I want to make you proud
Be just like you, the queen of my crowed

Do you wonder?

by Tirzah Shams

Do you wonder what the world is like
Without happiness and love
Where people go through trauma
And don’t believe in the heavens above

Do you wonder what people think?
When they meet you for the first time ever
When soul mates first lock eyes
Will they be entangled in a trance forever?

Do you wonder when thunder strikes
If it’ll burn down your ground
When you see a person die
If their soul will be lost or found

Do you wonder in an earthquake
If the Earth will eat you alive
When you hear about a bombing
Do you wonder if you’ll survive

Do you wonder in the dark
If you’ll see the light again
When you see someone who suffered
If one day darkness would reign

Do you wonder what it’s like
To be the queen of a nation
Do you wonder if the world is just
A piece of your imagination

Another persons eyes

by Tirzah Shams

You need to see this world around you
With another persons eyes
You need to see this world around you
That every day you despise

You need to learn ,to love, to hope
You need to learn to recognize
You need to see this world around you
With another persons eyes

It’s not what it always looks like
It’s not black and white
You’re not the only one
Who goes through trauma and fright

You’re not the only one for whom
Every day is a fight
You need to see this world around you
With another persons eye

Bullied Again

by Tirzah Shams

You may call me fat
You my call me ugly
But is it too hard
To think someone could love me

Society has rejected of me
Am I that bad
Why do people do that?
This question drives me mad

There is an other side
To people I believe
Who think I am worthy
Of the love I receive

Life has betrayed me
Love has left me alone
How am I supposed to fight
When I am left on my own

I may go in depression
I may go in anxiety
I may feel sick
With the symptoms of a variety

Now I declare I was bullied
Now I declare I was rejected
This isn’t something I could neglect
I know I was not excepted

Never to rise up

by Tirzah Shams

The beauty of the moonlight
That’s reflected in your eyes
The love and adoration
As you fell to your demise

Tears streaming down my face
As you kept falling and falling in the dark
Blood streaming down my spine
An injury that would leave a mark

And as you fell I yelled
“Why did you have to go
Why did you jump”
I will never know

And that was that was the moment
When my legs gave up
And I lay there
Never to rise up